OP asked us to post this comment:
Thank you all for your thoughts. I definitely am getting the sense that legal marital status holds a different level of significance to different people. Talking a bit with my partner I think we both have regrets about not being clearer in our communication. A couple points to clarify:
1. I did not probe deeper into my partner's status because I genuinely thought there was nothing to ask about - I met them on an online platform where you can set your status as single/married/separated, and they were listed as "single". Me saying "I don't really want to know" was more like, I don't like to interrogate my partners about their exes, you know?
2. I am not entirely sure where the assumption from some posters that my partner is male came from, but they do in fact use they/them pronouns.
Thank you all for your thoughts. I definitely am getting the sense that legal marital status holds a different level of significance to different people. Talking a bit with my partner I think we both have regrets about not being clearer in our communication. A couple points to clarify:
1. I did not probe deeper into my partner's status because I genuinely thought there was nothing to ask about - I met them on an online platform where you can set your status as single/married/separated, and they were listed as "single". Me saying "I don't really want to know" was more like, I don't like to interrogate my partners about their exes, you know?
2. I am not entirely sure where the assumption from some posters that my partner is male came from, but they do in fact use they/them pronouns.